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Brigham Young University was founded in 1875 by Wild Bill Hickock, and inexplicably named after Brigham Young.The school, under Hickock's presidency, offered classes in Bank Robbery, Gunslinging, and Emo Studies.If you want to start another Haymarket Riot, transfer to UC Berkeley, you stinky anarchist hippie. BYU was recently dubbed the most "wired" college by a recent technical study, but this was revealed as a typo, and BYU was actually ruled the most "weird" college in the U. BYU is organized into 11 colleges: BYU also has an international relations program, focusing on a catastrophically unsuccessful program of attempting to convince Native Americans and Latinos that they're actually Jews who have been magically transformed into "Lamanites" due to their ancestors' offenses against Elohim.BYU's legendarily awful athletic legacy can be traced to Leprechaun Mickey Rooney, hired by BYU in 1930 to amuse the students during Christmas vacations.Following the Russian Revolution of 1917, the Mormons took control of the campus and turned it into one of the world's greatest brainwashing facilities, creating techniques later refined by the CIA, Scientology and Ron Popeil.Tired of being mocked by the Ivy League, BYU bought the Charles Atlas muscle building program in 1970.This continued until the early 2000s, when the Utes began to beat its ass regularly.In 1971, in a bizarre turn of events, Mormon celebrity Donny Osmond was named BYU's Dictator for Life.

The Utes, having no written language, never recalled this occurrence, and, as with the central claims of Mormonism, there is no archaeological evidence whatsoever supporting these outlandish claims. 3.1 x 10^-125%) of kitten huffing researchers contend the story is either entirely true, unless it's a complete fabrication invented by that lecher who dug up inscribed golden plates and "translated" them with an enchanted geode to justify his humping your sister.

Along with Bob Jones University and Wheeling Jesuit University, BYU is one of the few universities in the civilized world which uses state-of-the-art brainwashing facilities to promote a feeling of universal brotherhood, an understanding of the necessity of early marriage and devoted FOX News viewing.

Students are expected to contribute 10% of their pre-tax income to Elohim (a.k.a.

In 1475, the Byzantine Imperial remnant established St.

Cyril's Brainwashing Facility on the shores of Utah Lake. Cyril's converted the local Ute Indians to Orthodoxy, and introduced them to Wonder Bread and funny underwear plagiarized from the Freemasons.




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